Sometimes I wake up and look at the piles of stuff I have to do. And the piles of stuff I should do, which is infinitely scarier.
And then I open an order from a supplier, and I see the handwritten numbers on the bags, and I think...I wish I were the one doing that. I wish to be a cog in some great machine, stamping out my gears one at a time, doing something repetitive and mind-freeing. No great decisions to be made. No pathway to negotiate.
It's only a fleeting thought, and not one I think I would pursue, but still, it pops up from time to time and makes me wish I were behind the lead dog, simply pulling, instead of the lead dog with none behind her, slipping down a trail I don't quite understand and can't see far enough ahead to judge where to go.
Then again, it is a little exhilarating. And the view is nice.